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Twilight Sparkle nodded in satisfaction as she finally found the spell she had been searching for during the past hour. A simple disappearing spell, the magical mare studied the process of casting it intently.

A knock rattled the library door, shattering Twilight’s concentration.

“I got it!” Spike called, leaping down from the ladder he had been ordering books on and opening the door.

The local mail mare, Derpy Hooves, stood at the entrance to the library. An enormous package that was as big as the mail mare herself sat beside her. The words “To: My Faithful student Twilight            From: Princess Celestia” were inked on the top in careful hoofwriting.

“HELLO MR. AND MRS. PURPLE I HAVE A PACKAGE FOR MRS. PURPLE FROM THE GREAT MUFFIN. PLEASE SIGN HERE.”

Twilight signed the form, not hesitating to deny a package from Celestia herself.

“THANK YOU AND GOOD DAY. NOW FOR ME TO SAY A BUNCH OF RANDOM STUFF THAT FOR SOME REASON HALF OF THIS FANDOM FINDS FUNNY. MUFFINS FORK CHEESE MOON DANDELIONS IN A GREAT FURNACE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.”

Derpy Hooves flew away, drawing no strange gazes from her odd (and not funny) behavior. It was simply accepted by anyone who spent more than a week in Ponyville that Derpy was… special.

“Well open it up!” Spike said, eagerly looking towards the package.

Twilight magically unraveled the cardboard box, not wanting to get her hooves messy with the various devices that kept the box shut. As the sides of the container fell away, a strange red contraption with two wheels, handlebars, and a seat stood before them.

Spike looked at the weird two-wheeled machine with uncertain eyes.

“What is that?.... It looks like something Pinkie would make!” Said Spike.

Inspecting the area surrounding the anomaly, Twilight spotted a sealed letter from Princess Celestia that had arrived with the package. Twilight tore it open, reading Celestia’s words aloud.

“My Faithful Student Twilight Sparkle,

What you see before you is called a ‘bike’! These vehicles were used by an ancient civilization as standard transportation and quick travel. I sent this to you because I thought you might be interested. Why don’t you try giving it a ride yourself?

With love,

Princess Celestia”

“Huh….. so how are you supposed to ride it?” Asked Spike.

“Well… obviously you sit on this…” Twilight said pointing to the black rubber seat.

“And…. This is to steer!” Spike said, rotating the handlebars back and forth.

“Right! And to make it move you simply rotate these two pedals! Just a simple system of wheels and pulleys!”

Twilight’s enthusiasm of discovery quickly ended as her thoughts shifted towards actually riding the ‘bike’. It looked very uncomfortable.

“Well Twilight, aren’t ya gonna ride it?” Asked Spike.

“Uh, I don’t think so Spike! Maybe we can put it aside for sometime else?” Remarked Twilight as she began to back away from the bike.

“I dunno Twilight… maybe I should send Princess Celestia a letter about how you hated her gift? I wonder how she would feel about that?” Spike said slyly.

“S-Spike are you… blackmailing me?!” Twilight asked with a shocked face.

Spike did not respond, only giving her a cool and calculated slight grin.

“Ugh. Fine.”

Twilight approached the bike, judging how best to mount it. As she raised her back left hoof over the vehicle, the purple mare lost her balance, causing both her and the bike to topple to the ground.

“HAHAHAHAHA!” Spike laughed as Twilight pushed herself off the ground and shot a dark glare at the baby dragon.

Now it was personal.

Twilight’s horn burned with light as she forcefully balanced the bike and raised her hoof over it once again. Placing her bottom on the rubber seat, Twilight quickly forced her back hooves onto the petals, and leaned her front hooves on the handlebars.

“HAH!” Twilight said, still using magic to balance the bike.

“Hey that’s cheating!” Spike yelled.

“Oh be quiet! Now…”

Twilight pushed down on the petals, and the bike began to move forward at a leisurely pace. Believing herself balanced, Twilight released the magic, causing the bike to quickly swerve out of control and crash down.

Spike laughed alongside a new, yet familiar voice as the purple pony pulled herself back up.

“What the HAY are you doing Twilight?” Rainbow Dash asked, still laughing.

“Trying to learn how to ride a ‘bike’, if you must know. The princess sent it to me personally.”

“A  ‘bike’? More like ‘Transportation for Eggheads’ right!?” Rainbow joked as her and Spike’s laughter returned.

Twilight ignored the two buffoons, instead focusing on what had gone wrong. Speed. She needed more speed to keep the bike straight. The handlebars also needed better control.

Remounting the fallen vehicle, Twilight pressed harder on the petals this time, making her approach a steady pace. Balancing both of her hooves so that each side had equal force, the determined mare managed to keep the bike from falling to its side.

“Twilight look out!” Spike called as his friend rushed towards the side of the library tree.

Twilight eased onto the handlebar with her left hoof, causing the bike to drift right and barely miss the wall of the library.

“Whooooaaaa!” Rainbow Dash and Spike said, impressed at Twilight’s fast learning.

“See? All it takes is a bit of practice!” Twilight said smugly as she brought the bike to a halt.

“Ooh! Let me try!” Spike cheered, running towards the bike.

“No can do Spike.” Twilight said, pointing to the library. “You need to go in there and finish ordering those books. As for me? I think I deserve a little ride on this thing.”

“Aw man….” Spike said, heading into the library.

Twilight turned to Rainbow Dash, a wry smile across her face.

“If you need me Dash, I’ll be cruising around on my ‘Egghead-mobile’”. The purple mare said as she turned, riding off towards Whitetail Woods.

“Just be careful! You only just started riding it!” Dash called as Twilight rode away, ignoring her.

Although she still wobbled a bit, Twilight soon cycled out of Ponyville and into the friendly Whitetail woods. The amber colored leaves rained down around her as a soft breeze greeted her face.

Twilight picked up the pace on the bike as she sped down the path, the trees becoming a blur around her. She had never gone so fast before! Wanting to test the limits of the little vehicle, Twilight magically enhanced controlled the petals, causing them to go at unnatural speeds.

As she continued to fly down the dirt road, the sign informing her to turn right was merely a blur to the magical mare. As the leaf-caked grounds slowly turned into cliffs, Twilight attempted to slow the petals down. The images and sites flooding Twilights mind refused to let her control her magic, and the purple mare began on a deadly course toward the cliff edge.

‘Jump!’ Twilight told herself, but panic had overtaken her, and her legs and hooves stuck to the bike like glue. Crying out as she tumbled with the bike off the side of the cliff, Twilight caught a glimpse of what awaited her below. Maybe the soft tree branches of Whitetail Wood?

No. Just rocks. Sharp rocks that would grace her with an instant, if not bloody death. The thought of her friends finding her corpse dashed against the stones and the despair it would cause them flashed through Twilights mind as the ground rushed up to meet her.

A gentle breeze whipped at Twilight’s face. The soft beat of wings accompanied the sound, making the purple mare awake from her slumber in a peaceful state.

“Oh good your alive. Thought you might have died from shock alone!”

Twilight’s memory flashed back through her head as she remembered flying off the side of the cliff. As she looked back up to see who was talking to her, she was met face to face with Rainbow Dash.

“What… happened?” A confused Twilight asked.

“You threw yourself off the cliff riding that dumb bike! I caught you right before you hit the ground. You can thank me when we are back in Ponyville.” Said Rainbow.

Twilight looked around, realizing they were flying over Whitetail Woods and back towards the town. Despite being high above the ground, Twilight had complete confidence that her friend would not drop her.

“How did you know to save me?” Twilight asked, looking at Rainbow with appreciation.

“Ha! I didn’t! I made sure to follow you the whole time you were cycling! Do you really think I would let my best friend go riding on such a ridiculous Egghead contraption without a bit of backup?” Asked Rainbow.

“Thanks Rainbow.” Twilight said as they began their descent for Ponyville. “I’m lucky to have a great friend like you.”

“Ah don’t mention it.” Said Rainbow. “Oh… and the bike? Yeah. Totally trashed at the bottom of that cliff. I couldn’t save it.”

“Heh, forget about it. The ‘ancient civilization’ that designed that vehicle must have been the biggest idiots to ever walk the earth anyways.” Twilight joked, causing the friends to laugh. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat, my treat!”

Then they had lesbian sex.

There. Now you people will actually read the damn fic.